Do You Want Fruit With That?

My little sister has explained to us that with the recent purchase of our first house, we are destined to become “Old and Boring”.  To which I replied, “You’ll take that back if you ever want the option of staying with us rent free.”

SO THERE.

Ross and I are pretty determined to never become officially “Old and Boring”.  And if my gene pool has anything to say about it, there wont be any problems (see Conversations with Mom / Conversations with Dad).

But guess what, you guys?  Not only did I buy a cantaloupe on Sunday and perfectly time when to cut it up (because hell if its going to waste when we go out-of-town this weekend), but this morning before Ross left for work, some involuntary force came over me and I said:

Honey!  Did you pack yourself some cantaloupe for lunch today?  Or at least eat some for breakfast?  Did you?  You have to eat some of that cantaloupe today!

And all of the sudden all I could hear were the voices of my mother and father:  Have you had any fruit today? You have to eat some fruit!  Get some cantaloupe on that plate.  Keeps you regular!  …And don’t even get me started on my Dad’s “3-carrot rule”.

So ok, what were we talking about here…the point? Yes! The point:

Am I old?     No.

Am I boring?    Have you seen my latest t-shirt purchase?  I’m wild, people, wild.

But dammit, if my sister ever comes to stay with us, she is eating some fruit with her meal.

TAKE THAT, college kid!

Photo from The Infomercantile
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Professional Help

About nine months ago we moved into our (current) condo.

About nine months ago I swore I’d never. ever. move again.

Also at that time, I swore that if I ever had to break my word and actually move, we’d be hiring professional movers.

Clearly that whole never. ever. moving thing hasn’t worked out. (Not that I’m complaining about our fantastic new house!)  But no way. no how. are we doing it without some professional help.

Because, dear God…

HAVE YOU SEEN OUR STAIRS?

The above photos are from the fateful day my most prized piece of furniture was delivered to our home–The same fateful day we were charged extra for “difficult delivery” and oh-so-narrowly escaped having to send the couch back because we couldn’t fit it up those stairs, through the hallway and into our door.  The scene was, to say the least, dramatic.  So dramatic, in fact, that I eventually just couldn’t watch.

I finally uncovered my eyes to see that the delivery men had earned their “difficult delivery” money and the couch found a home in our living room.

And although we have some delightful friends who have so graciously offered to help us move (thank you!), so help me GOD, no one but a paid professional is getting their hands on the most expensive piece of furniture we own. 

We appreciate the offers, friends, we really do.  But I just can’t risk my couch, my sanity, and of course, our friendships on a pro-bono moving job.  I promise you that by kindly declining your offer, we are doing you a giant favor.

Because let’s face it.  If anything happened to that couch…err…our friends, who would come over for a barbeque at our new place? 

Nobody likes a lonely patio.

Patience is a Virtue

Remember when I told you about Cupcake Mondays?

Today Ross sent me this message:

chocolate caramel crumb cupcake with cream cheese filling

…i’m saving it

There is absolutely no way I’d be able to stop myself from downing that cupcake-of-my-dreams the second it touched my desk.  I’d probably accomplish it  in one bite.  And Lord only knows if I’d get the paper off in time.

Dear Husband, I hope our children inherit your patience and will-power.  They’ll need it when they inherit my severe addiction to baked goods.  I’m sorry.

 

Safety First

 

Today is Earth Day.

Ross is “celebrating” by “skipping work” (“Skipping” of course, meaning giving appropriate notice and receiving advanced, documented approval for utilizing earned PTO because we all know how much you love to live on the edge, dear) and heading to Target Field for the Twins game. Oh, and the Earth Day thing?  He is taking mass-transit.

I, on the other hand, will be celebrating Earth Day with not one, but two drills to prepare for one of the most terrifying things that can happen our beloved Earth: tornadoes.

Not only will my office be conducting an “Emergency Preparedness Evacuation Drill”, but the entire state of Minnesota will be participating in the annual, “Tornado Drill Day“.  According to the Minneapolis Star Tribune, “It’ll sound like tornadoes are bearing down across Minnesota Thursday — twice in most parts of the state — but it’s only a test.” 

Well thank God.

Because, really, what says “Let’s celebrate and protect our planet!” better than visions of flying bicycles and houses dancing in my head?

Time to grab a hardcover textbook and head to the hallway, kids.  Happy Earth Day!  Tornado season is a’comin’!

 

Photos found here, here and here

Home Decorating for Dummies

It hasn’t even been a week since we signed up for our first mortgage and I’m already all,  Paint Colors! Furniture! and Omigod are you seeing this pillow? I will not move into the house without it. Do you think I’m joking?

  

Ross is doing his best to keep it together.

 

So I thought, why not throw in a few cheeky decor photos to lighten the mood?  It’s just a house, people.  Let’s stay calm.

These door decals from Style Your Door should do the trick.  The decals stick to your door to create the illusion of something else behind it.

 

Sure we have an escalator up to our bedroom.   Why?  …Don’t you?

 

Oh that?  Yeah, the old owners put it in and we decided to just leave it.  We figure it will come in handy one day when we need to put our unruly future children in “time out”.

 

Just 25 cents for a gumball as big as your face.

 

 

We are so well-read.

 

See?  Decorating is easyYou can buy your own favorite door decals here…no, really.

 

Decal images from Style-Your-Door.com

A Peek Into the Future

My best friend from college sent me a video today with a note: “someday you’ll have a little troublemaker just like this… :)”

And oh my good God is she right.

This friend of mine knows me.  Really knows me.  We are kindred spirits who were randomly and magically matched as roommates our freshman year at Luther College.  From the moment we both burst into tears when our parents left us on move-in day (nerds), we knew our lifelong friendship had begun.  Several conversations in the dark on our dorm room lofts later (Pssst! Are you awake? I am now. I can’t sleep. Let’s go make Easy Mac.) we were the kind of friends that if seen alone, were always asked if the other one was OK.

We lived together for the next three years.  And if it wasn’t for that pesky husband of mine or her crazy idea to move to Missouri for grad school, we’d probably still be sharing a living space and trying to convince the other to share a pint of Cherry Garcia.

So yes. OK. The video.  It’s ten minutes long but oh sweet Lord is it worth it.  This little child is 100 percent, no doubt about it, e-x-a-c-t-l-y what Ross and I are in for when we have children.  And it is 100%, no doubt about it, going to be c-o-m-p-l-e-t-e-l-y because of me.

When you see the way she attacks the chocolate chips and mouths off to the camera man…you’ll understand.

So!  Who can we count on to babysit?

Good to Go

Does it count as a housewarming gift if the item is something you’re supposed to leave the house with?

 

 

We won’t pretend we were strangers to Franzia in college.  But we’re adults now.  We own a house now.

 

The decent thing would be to put a bag around the box and call it a purse.

 

Buy this amazing contraption here.

And while you’re at it, buy some decent boxed wine here.

 

Found on Elements of Style